20/20 in the 2020s
The stark harshness of constantly having
two eyes in separate worlds and two feet
straddling a bold line of bullshit truly
has a way of askewing the view of one's
identity,
and no longer standing the stares of
strangers or the stillness of
restless wee hours
means nothing when you know you'll just face
them and the fractaled thoughts again
and again and
again.
The burnout from trying to heal is real
but there’s no reaseon to believe you'll
see it even as one burns alive IRL &
in your face, no trace of your concern or
involvement, just another case to pretend
to solve as its kit collects dust on evidence shelves
at your convenience.
Never has societal placement held any comfort
due to those so quick to confront how
I function.
Yes, I am pretty over discussing race relations
with fucks who don’t give one and hue doesn’t
matter when they breeze by a dime
a dozen colored in ignorance,
but the ones who do the work
are simultaneously ready for rest and that
privilege must still be earned in some cases—
bless every soul still in WIP mode.
Of course I can pas de bourrée through
any day of pleasant examples (like a caring
coworker covering your Juneteenth shift) but
the shit examples of humanity (such as
still serving “You’re not Black enough” gawk
while I exist with either a book or a White
husband in tow) never
fail to linger in the lessons learned and
assigned to the marrow.
But one can only hope
on a fresh Summer Solstice
that the tattooed tutelage
fades with lack of touch ups
and A.C. Clark’s 3rd Law levels of laser work.
Looking towards the future for a cure only
works when you don’t already know
delay and defer were always
woven into the plan.
Being so thoroughly over the passive-
aggressive double standards offers more
awareness than resolution, more resentment
than revolution
until the day finally arrives
when enough is enough.